Sunday, September 27, 2009

Advice to a New Grandson - Part II



As you know, I just became a proud granddad, which moves me up in status to Wise Elder in the clan. I'm taking my new duties very seriously. Following is my second installment ...
  1. There is no excuse for dancing like a white man.
  2. A good poop is way better than mediocre sex.
  3. What most people call a God experience, scientists call dopamine.
  4. That doesn’t mean God is not real.
  5. We elude happiness far more than happiness eludes us.
  6. God has a sense of humor. Trust me, every day you will do something to make Him snort milk out His nose.
  7. Good enough is not good enough.
  8. Friends are a way better investment than money.
  9. The oldest known redwood is 2,200 years old. An idiot with a chainsaw only needs one day.
  10. Napoleon lost an entire army in north Africa and an entire army in Russia. Still, he had no trouble recruiting volunteers for Waterloo. Go figure.
  11. You are a book responsible for your own cover. Expect people to judge you.
  12. God has a funny way of treating people He loves most. Just ask Joan of Arc.
  13. Thoreau danced to a different drummer, but he also died a virgin.
  14. Ration your hate. Don’t indulge.
  15. It’s okay to curse God. But tread lightly when blaming fellow humans.
  16. Good teachers make you think, not tell you what to think.
  17. If you suck up to the rich and powerful, you won’t have to do your own laundry. If you do your own laundry, you won’t have to suck up to the rich and powerful.
And finally ...

You are two days old. Breasts are the center of your existence. You and I have a lot in common.

With love ...

7 comments:

Lori~ said...

Dear John,

I concur with #2 & #8! However I do not agree with #7, just ask God. Good IS good enough! We need to get that!

Lori~

John McManamy said...

Hey, Lucy. Here's the test: When they're inspecting the engines on a plane you will be boarding, do you want the inspectors to sign off with "good enough"?

Here's the way I see it: We give "our best." Our best may not be THE best. In fact, "our best" may suck. But we only settle for "good enough" when making our beds. :)

Lori said...

Ahhh John and so it is! I like your take on it...and it's LORI, but Lucy's, good enough. :)

John McManamy said...

Hey, Lori. Oops! A classic case of my good enough not good enough. :)

Haseo said...

Greetings.
First off, thank you for sharing your wisdom, I find myself wishing that someone would've told me all that when I was 2 days old.

Secondly, again thank you, for creating a blog, a newsletter, a book and a website to support all those with disorders. They are all very well made and managed, with no medical gibberish but real facts that normal people can actually understand, without having to constantly check a medical dictionary.
Glad you won an award, you do deserve it.

I stumbled across your article "Apathy Matters", and I'm glad I did, since it cleared up a great deal for me.

Best wishes and God bless you.

~Haseo

PS. I really like your sense of humor, especially in #1, #9, #10 and #12.

Anne's Library said...

John,
Recent research indicates that Thoreau was in fact not a virgin when he died.

John McManamy said...

Thanks, Anne's Library. :)