Lost!

Last night, I dreamed I was in an episode of "Lost." This may have had something to do with the fact that shortly before bedtime last night I was watching an episode that aired on ABC. Let's see if I can bring you up to date:

Last night's episode opens with a plane containing "The Oceanic Six" crash-landing on the same mysterious uncharted island a second time. To any follower of "Lost," this is the logical explanation to Sawyer's amazement at seeing his old friends alight from a vintage 70s Volkswagen van that ended last week's episode.

Sawyer, of course, is stuck on the Island in the year 1977. So - presumably - the plane carrying the Oceanic Six took off in the present and crashed-landed three decades in the past, when Jimmy Carter was President.

Sawyer is now (or then) going by the name of Jim La Fleur, and is living off his wits pretending to be a member of the Dharma Initiative. As you will recall, when the original "Lost" crew crashed on the island back in the present, the Dharma Initiative was no more. So now Sawyer has to figure out a way to get his friends accepted into the doomed Dharma Initiative community without them being mistaken for "Hostiles," which we know is not a pleasant fate.

The crash survivors inform Sawyer AKA La Fleur that Locke is dead, but, this being "Lost," we know that dead really doesn't mean dead. Complicating matters is that one of the crash survivors - Sayid - has already been captured by the Dharma Initiative and another two, including the evil genius who killed Locke (who, as we know, can't possibly be dead), are running loose.

Oh, yeh, there is also a brief appearance by a character from 1954, when there was the small matter of a lost (and now found) atomic bomb that needed dismantling. Or maybe that was last week.

Anyway, here I am in my dream with Jim La Fleur, living off my wits pretending to be part of the Dharma Initiative. One mistake, one slip of the tongue, and I'm going to have to explain myself to a bunch of people with absolutely no sense of humor about Dharma impersonators.

Out of nowhere, in my dream, Sean Connery picks up a telephone pole and throws it, which, I take it, is perfectly normal for "Lost." By now, the Dharma people are on to me, and I find myself talking like I've never talked before to a highly-skeptical woman in a nun's habit.

Thankfully, just when I'm about to irredeemably incriminate myself, I woke up. My cat, Bullwinkle, was reassuringly snoozing across my chest. Whew! It is the present, the year 2015. Rush Limbaugh is President and everything is going to be alright ...