Sunday, June 12, 2011

Ten Thousand Ways Our Brains Are Messed Up

One of the major stories in bipolar over the past decade is the growing recognition that the condition is way more than a mood disorder. On one hand, we are talking about the thinking cortical regions that fail to boot up properly, even in euthymic (well) patients. On the other, we are talking about the reactive limbic regions that boot up all too well. Too frequently the neural networks that connect the two are severely compromised. Bad things happen.

At the 9th International Bipolar Conference that wrapped up on Sunday, Stephen Strakowski of the University of Cincinnati presented the equivalent of a master’s class.

Above is a representation of the anterior limbic network (ALN). Forget for the time being about specific brain regions and which region is responsible for what. Instead, check out the arrows in the picture that represent how these regions talk and cross-talk with one another. In a 2006 article on CNS Spectrums, Dr Strakowski refers to the old brain science as a “form of phrenology” that wrongly suggested that specific portions of the brain are associated with specific cognitive and emotional traits. Rather:

More recent neuroimaging studies suggest that emotion regulation is an emergent phenomenon that arises out of specific neural networks and that bipolar disorder represents the consequences of dysregulation in these networks.

Okay, let’s see how this works. In a 2004 brain scan study, euthymic bipolar patients performed as well on a simple cognitive task as the healthy controls, but to keep up the bipolars had to activate more brain regions. Dr Strakowski in his talk disclosed he had originally misinterpreted the results. What happened, he said, on later reflection was that the amygdala (which mediates arousal and fear) in the bipolar subjects lit up like a Christmas tree. To compensate for the over-active amygdala, the bipolars recruited the ventral medial prefrontal cortex (VMPFC). Image below.


So, even in routine situations, our brains are subject to stress. And to make up for it, we have to work the thinking parts of the brain harder. No harm, no foul, right?

In another experiment, Stakowski and his colleagues turned up the heat. This time, the subjects were put through a more complex cognitive task called the “counting Stroop,” which involves sorting out incongruent images in rapid succession (such as the number four spelled out three times). In this task, the bipolars scored rather worse than the healthy controls.

Here’s where it really gets interesting. As the task got more difficult, the controls were successful in easing back and slowing down their reaction times, allowing them precious micro-seconds to bring the cognitive areas of the brain online, in particular the regions involved in impulse-control. The bipolars, by contrast, failed miserably in this regard. They kept plowing ahead.



In another study, involving a facial recognition task, Strakowski and his colleagues found difficulties in bipolars in recruiting the VMPFC to suppress amygdala over-activity, resulting in loss of prefrontal control over the brain. In yet another study, the cingulate in the midbrain failed to sort out background noise. On and on it went.

So, imagine yourself in a crowded room this time, not in a brain scan machine. Even the routine task of talking to someone you feel comfortable with may be stressful. Then a stranger sidles over. Meanwhile, you are finding it difficult to tune out a million and one things going on in the room. Everything seems to be closing in. Then your mother-in-law barges in and starts yapping away.

Maybe you rise to the occasion and handle the situation superbly. But you know there is going to be hell to pay some time later. In all likelihood, you will arrive home, either feeling like a wrung-out dish rag or with racing thoughts - or maybe both - needing at least a precious day of recovery time you don’t have. Heaven forbid if you have an important meeting with your boss first thing in the morning.

Obviously, the recovery techniques we have at our disposal help enormously - from the tricks we pick up in cognitive-behavioral therapy to mindfulness to stopping to smell the roses. But when I addressed the panel on the topic of skills training, I was met with blank stares. Here’s where I am coming from:

Two years ago, at the International Congress on Schizophrenia, I happened to walk into a session entitled, "Optimizing Cognitive Training Approaches in Schizophrenia." From a blog piece, Figuring Our Schizophrenia,  I did soon after ...

Translation: The brain is plastic. As Michael Merzenich of UCSF describes it, "Basically, we create ourselves."

The brain is born stupid, then evolves and becomes "massively optimized to fit into your world."

In recognition of this, a relatively new field is opening up that involves drilling patients in cognitive tasks we tend to take for granted, such as holding a thought in our working memory long enough to lay down new neural roadwork or responding to stimuli in a timely fashion.

New computer programs are being developed and being tested on patients, Sophia Vinogradov of UCSF explains, and we are seeing enduring changes in the cognitive performance of patients six months later.


Naturally, I was flabbergasted to find the panelists at the Bipolar Conference wholly ignorant to this, but then again I wasn’t surprised. Despite the fact that the schizophrenia researchers are light-years ahead of the bipolar researchers (aided by infinitely more research dollars) bipolar researchers do not seek them out. Carol Tamminga of the University of Texas, a prominent schizophrenia researcher, was far more polite when she addressed the Bipolar Conference four years earlier, simply referring to the lack of cross-talk between the two fields.

Fortunately, after the seminar, someone sought me out and validated my query, referring to Dr Merzenich and a website involving his work called positscience, which provides some online samples of these cognitive drills. Bipolar is five years behind schizophrenia, my informant acknowledged.

One more point: The studies Dr Strakowski and others perform are designed to catch us at our cognitive worst. These studies are comparatively easy to design and execute. Studies that would catch us at our best - formulating a creative response, thinking outside the box, reaching an intuitive insight - simply do not exist. We know our brains are precision-tooled for this, and researchers such as Nancy Andreasen of the University of Iowa are studying the phenomena very intently. But there is no way to capture the birth of a creative idea in a brain scan machine.

But at least a picture - good and bad - is beginning to emerge of what is going on beneath the hood. And in this type of self-knowledge lies the key to leading more fulfilling lives than we could have imagined when we were initially blindsided by this illness. Be hopeful. Knowledge is necessity.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Awards Night at the Bipolar Conference

I’m 38,000 feet over the American heartland, maybe only 37,000 feet. In another 30 minutes or so, we’ll begin our approach into Phoenix. If I don’t have to run to catch my connecting flight to San Diego, I’ll upload this from the airport. Assuming I haven’t spilled cranberry juice over my keyboard, of course.

Last night was the 9th International Conference on Bipolar Disorder’s Mogens Schou Awards and Dinner at Pittsburgh’s Carnegie Museum of Natural History. The Awards have special significance to me. Four years ago, at the 7th International Conference, I was one of the three honorees, for Public Service. My email signature proudly discloses this fact. I have no intention of undisclosing it.

The Award is named in honor of the late Mogens Schou, who established the benefit of lithium in the treatment of bipolar, thereby improving the lives of millions.

I find myself standing in the same alcove as four years ago. David Kupfer, one of the conference organizers (and Chair of the DSM-5 Task Force) opens the proceedings, then introduces Ellen Frank (pioneer of interpersonal and social rhythm therapy), who hands out the first award of the night - to Mark Frye of the Mayo Clinic for Education and Advocacy.

Dr Kupfer presents the second Award - Research - to Marion LeBoyer of the University of Paris.

There is one plexiglass statuette on the table. David Miklowicz (author of the Bipolar Survival Guide) approaches the platform to present the Public Service Award to Muffy Walker. Here I am with Muffy’s camera and the battery has gone dead. Someone with a PhD or MD or maybe both standing next to me confirms it. She holds Muffy’s camera. I whip out my iPhone. This means no shooting through a telephoto lens from a discreet distance.

Muffy is called to the stage. Four years ago, Muffy founded the California Bipolar Foundation, later to become the International Bipolar Foundation, already making an impact. Muffy also lives in San Diego, and I had long worn out my joke that there is not enough San Diego representation in the Public Service category.

Muffy gathers her Award. I swoop in to get an iPhone close-up, then flit back into the shadows. Muffy tells us she worked in mental health as a nurse and is married to a doctor, but when their young child was diagnosed with bipolar both of them were at a loss. This got her started in advocacy. This connected her with families everywhere. She lets everyone know her kid is doing well now. She expresses her gratitude to everyone in the room.

You feel it. This is why we are all here. This is what it is all about. Then I remember my immediate mission. I swoop in with my iPhone before either Muffy or Dr Miklowltcz can clear the platform. I get them to pose as I click away. Hold up the Award, I instruct Muffy. She is beaming from ear-to-ear. It is a special moment.

I know what it’s like.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Brain Dead From The International Bipolar Conference


Above is a sample of what I sat through this morning in Pittsburgh. The slide was from one of three talks in a symposium entitled "Cognition (Basic and Functional)," otherwise known as "Ten Thousand Ways Our Brains Are Messed Up." My coffee failed me this morning, so I have a lot of personal insight into this sort of stuff. Basically, I droop on the Stroop, bad reporting on the Wisconsin Card Sorting, total lack on the N-back. As for following the talk ...

Chill break in my room right now. Then out to a dinner function. I'm flying out tomorrow and will have a lot of cool stuff to report on when I get home, provided the airline doesn't lose my brain. (Don't laugh - the airline once lost my sun tan, but that's a different story.) Over and out ...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Speed Blog - International Bipolar Conference

Just got back from a dinner function at the 9th International Conference on Bipolar Disorder in Pittsburgh. A few quick observations before I hit the sack:

At the opening session on Medical Life Style Management, Fouzia Laghrissi-Thode of Hoffman-La Roche advised that we have to look away from psychiatric conditions as isolated conditions. Rather, we are talking about systemic illnesses, involving many systems. Other speakers on the panel made much the same observations, pointing out the interconnections involving cardiovascular and metabolic diseases, bad sleep, mood disorders, and no end of other stuff. Said Michael Ostacher of Stanford, our focus needs to shift from solely on improving mood to improving well-being.

The second session involved the DSM-5. The panel, comprising members and consultants on the work group responsible for coming up with changes to the bipolar diagnosis, all pointed out that mood disorders existed on a spectrum, “analogous to blood pressure,” as legendary Swiss diagnostician Jules Angst put it. Dr Angst pointed out three dimensions to the spectrum: 1) from depression to mania 2) severity (from “normal” to pronounced symptoms) 3) temperament (a permanent condition over a lifetime).

The catch though, said Ellen Frank of the University of Pittsburgh, was that although the reality is not categorical, the DSM has to be in order to give names and provide cut-off points. Major catch. Is a “mixed” depression, for instance mandate at least two mania symptoms or three? Is two days long enough for hypomania or should it be four?

A couple of psychiatrists I talked to later compared the exercise to counting angels on the head of a pin. The distinctions were way too subtle for the real world of clinical practice, they pointed out. The research psychiatrists I talked to stressed they need these fine distinctions for research purposes. Why can’t they make it simple, I asked one research psychiatrist - feeling good-feeling shitty. The clinical terms are euphoric-dysphoric.

I’ve been very critical of the DSM-5 on this blog, but I want to point out that the experts on the panel over the years, in particular Ellen Frank and Trisha Suppes of Stanford, have been very helpful to me in pointing out the ins and outs of the mood spectrum, mixed states, and the many faces of hypomania. But nothing I heard today alters any of my previous criticisms.

After lunch, Nora Volkow, head of the National Institute of Drug Abuse, delivered a tour-de-force presentation on the fine points of everything about the brain. The brain doesn’t work in isolation, she noted. The brain works in networks. The brain takes 20 years to develop as opposed to the heart. Genetic time-bombs may be triggered anywhere from the fetus to right now. Our genetic predisposition to how we react to the environment may determine whether our behavior is controlled or automatic. In essence, when things go wrong, the prefrontal cortex fails to effectively modulate the amygdala.

“Resting functional connectivity” - you will hear a lot more on that in future blog posts, along with an area of the brain called the “habenula.”

Another session on circadian rhythms and brain imaging, poster session, chill break, dinner function. I run into my longtime friend Bill Ashdown from Canada, very active in international advocacy, great catching up.

More later. To bed. This is John McManamy, live from Pittsburgh ...

Live at the Bipolar Conference

Pittsburgh, Wed, 6:40 AM. In another hour, I’ll be registering for the 9th International Conference on Bipolar Disorder. The conference is hosted by UPitt and the Western Psychiatric Institute and is held every two years. I’ve been attending since 2001. I arrived in town yesterday afternoon, following a brief family visit back east. I’m looking forward to hearing conversation on the DSM-5, which I have reviewed in a good many of my blog posts here, under such headings as “Light a Match and Start Over.”

A good many of the experts who had a hand in the DSM-5 will be at the conference, including David Kupfer, who heads up the DSM-5 Task Force and who has been one of the Conference organizers since its inception.

I arrived here yesterday afternoon. I checked into my hotel, and in the elevator bumped into Michael Berk of the University of Melbourne. I pointed to a strange looking cylindrical bag slung over my shoulder. “You won’t believe this,” I said. “I’ve got a didgeridoo in here.”

In my room, I settled down by honking into my didge for a half an hour. I play it into a pillow to ensure no one calls 911. The room has been comped by the Conference organizers by virtue of the Mogens Schou Award for Public Service I received four years earlier. Real towels in my room. This is the life.

In my real life on the road, every room is always right across from the elevator and the ice machine.

Later, as I’m strolling through the lobby, I happen to bump into Muffy Walker, also from San Diego, this year’s Mogens Schou Public Service honoree. Muffy is the founder and prime mover of the International Bipolar Foundation, established a few years ago and already making an impact. “We don’t have nearly enough San Diego representatives in the Public Service category,” I joke to Muffy. “I’m going to file a complaint.”

This is John McManamy, live from Pittsburgh ....

Rerun - Les Paul: Guitar Hero














From Aug, 2009. Today would have been his 96th birthday ...

"When you're my age, you know that the end is in sight. How do you handle it? You live for the moment. The past is gone and the future isn't here yet. And you ain't gonna change it, no matter what you think. And so the most obvious thing to do is right now." - Les Paul, last year, at age 93.

Les Paul's remarkable career began at age 13, in 1928, playing guitar in a traveling cowboy band. In 1941, using parts from a telephone and radio mounted on a piece of wood, he devised the first solid body electric guitar. In 1952, Gibson went into production with its celebrated Les Paul model. The world would never be the same.

From a background instrument that could barely be heard, the guitar became a lead instrument, capable of an immense array of sounds that transformed virtually every genre of music and set the scene for rock 'n roll.

Les Paul also single-handedly invented multitrack recording, once again changing how we hear music. He performed with the likes of Nat King Cole and Bing Crosby, and during the 1950s recorded his own string of hits as a soloist and with his wife, vocalist Mary Ford.

In celebration of his 90th birthday, in 2005 he recorded an album featuring guest appearances by Eric Clapton and other luminaries. The album earned him two Grammy awards to add to an earlier performing Grammy from 1976 as well as technical Grammys.

In 1983, he began doing weekly gigs in a small New York club, Fat Tuesday's. In 1995, he changed venues to the Iridium, another small venue, where he continued to perform until June this year. Les Paul died yesterday. He was 94.

On today's NY Times is an extraordinary 15-minute video interview from last year, at age 93, recorded before and during a recent Iridium gig. The image above is a screenshot from the video.

Monday, June 6, 2011

On the Road

I’m here in San Diego Airport waiting for a plane that’s going to be 38 minutes late. WTF? I hold up on my end of the bargain and show up on time. Maybe next time I’ll be the one 38 minutes late. See how they like it. Trust me, I busted my ass getting here on time. A quick rewind:

Sunday morning: I position myself in front of my desktop, cup of Irish breakfast tea. Time to start preparing for my Pittsburgh trip later in the week. Leisurely I dial up my Travelocity itinerary. Something about my flight leaving 06/06. That can’t be right. That’s tomorrow.

Tomorrow! Shit!

Can’t be. I must have booked it wrong. I’m supposed to be attending the 9th International Bipolar Conference in Pittsburgh starting - let’s see - the 9th. And a family stopover before hand, let’s see ...

Nothing to worry about. Three days of work to do in one day, no big deal, if I give my laundry a miss. What the hell, clean underwear is over-rated, anyway.

Monday 1 AM: I kind of have everything packed. Biggest strategic decision - do I bring my didgeridoo? Is a bear Catholic? Next biggest strategic decision - what do I forget to bring this time? My horse collar travel pillow? A cable to one of my zillion electronic devices? I know - the earbuds to my iPod.

Monday 6 AM: Note to self - shaving in this particular state of pre-coffeeness is not such a good idea.

Monday 7:30 AM: I’m outta here.

Monday 8:30 AM: Why do all the people on the parking shuttle have green complexions? Shit! I left my real glasses in my car. I scramble to correct the situation. Situation corrected. Complexions normal.

Monday 10 AM: Through security, through mandatory news store stop (ha! no travel pillow purchase this time, ah! earbuds), through breakfast (yay! a new Jamba Juice concession). Engage earbuds, chamber music, ahhh ...

This is John McManamy, live on the road ...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Remembering Marilyn

Marilyn would have been 85 on June 1. I wrote this 10 or 11 years ago for mcmanweb. I would write a much different piece today, with far less emphasis on bipolar, and hopefully I will get around to writing that piece. In the meantime ...

On April 10, 1962, Marilyn Monroe arrived on the set of the bedroom farce, "Something’s Got To Give," for costume and screen tests. Producer Henry Weinstein described her as "at her best," but later that same evening he found her unconscious from an apparent sleeping pill overdose. Weinstein pleaded with the executives at Fox to delay shooting, but with the studio teetering on financial collapse as a result of the white elephant, "Cleopatra," they badly needed their most bankable star to bail them out.

Marilyn most likely was dealing with bipolar. And, of course, she was Marilyn. An AMC documentary from the early 2000s, "Marilyn Monroe - The Final Days," recounts what happened next:

Shooting was delayed a week while Marilyn went to New York to be with her mentors, Lee and Paula Strasberg. She returned energized, but with a bad cold that rendered her cinematically hors de combat. The studio rejected their own doctor's recommendation that production be postponed a month. One week later, Marilyn reported to work, only to collapse on the set the next day.

A short time earlier, US Attorney General Robert F Kennedy had entered Marilyn’s life. Marilyn confided in Weinstein of her impending first date and sought his advice on what kind of questions she should be asking. A week later, when Weinstein enquired how it was going, Marilyn cheerfully replied, "I don’t need any more questions."

Then there was Robert’s older brother, President John F Kennedy. Marilyn skipped a day of shooting to pant her famous rendition of "Happy Birthday, Mr President" in a gown that anticipated Jennifer Lopez by 40 years.

Meanwhile, the set at Fox resembled an armed camp, with director George Cukor at odds with both Marilyn and producer Weinstein, frustrated actors, an unhappy crew, and Fox executives on the warpath over Marilyn’s absences.

But the Marilyn captured on film completely belies the sound and fury behind the scenes. The screen fairly lights up with her presence, and a nude pool scene, painstakingly reconstructed from footage in the vault, stands as Exhibit A for why there has been no one like her before or since.

But soon after the pool scene, she disappeared for the weekend, then called in sick. When she returned to the set, she seemed to lack focus. Speculation has it that RFK may have broken off the affair.
By now, filming was 11 days behind schedule. Marilyn had worked for but 13 of 30 production days.

When she called in sick for the 17th time, Fox fired her. Marilyn was humiliated and began believing reports that she was all washed up, but then she rebounded to wage a spirited public relations campaign which resulted in the studio doing a complete about-face, signing her to a $1,000,000 two-picture contract. With shooting on "Something’s Got To Give" set to resume with a new director, Marilyn was back with a vengeance.

Then, days later, on the morning of August 5, Marilyn’s housekeeper noticed lights on in her room. She opened the door to discover why. Marilyn was dead from an overdose of sleeping pills. She was 36.

Marilyn’s bipolar is the most likely explanation for the incredible and unpredictable ups and downs that governed her final days and resulted in her tragic ending. Testimony from her personal physician and the fact that her mother was institutionalized lend credence to this view. Clearly another factor was the sheer magnitude of her personality (with elements of narcissism and borderline personality disorder entering into it).

A vulnerable person physically and mentally not ready for the demands of shooting another film, she had been placed in the impossible position of carrying an entire studio’s fortunes on her shoulders. Add to that her fears that maybe she could no longer live up to her larger than life Marilyn Monroe persona, and add to that the deflation of her grandiose bubble that she could be a future President’s wife. Who knows what else was going through her mind? Something had to give. Something did.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Stress-Emotions Connnection

Yet another totally reworked article in my never-ending mcmanweb blow-everything-up-and-start-over project, edited for your reading pleasure ...

Stress is to mood what that iceberg was to the Titanic, with therapies increasingly geared toward neutralizing its vast destructive powers.  In a 2002 NIMH study, healthy subjects with a certain short variation (allele) to the serotonin transporter gene viewed images of scary faces as their brains were being scanned. The part of the brain which governs fear and arousal - the amygdala - lit up like a Christmas tree.

A year later, a study on a New Zealand population found that those with this very same short allele were far more at risk of depression after being exposed to four or more lifetime stressful events (including employment, finances, housing, health, and relationships) than their long-allele counterparts.

Vulnerability vs Resilience

Is mental illness a "vulnerability" disease? Are the lucky ones, in effect, genetically "resilient" to what life happens to throw their way? Or does life have a way of turning even resilient brains vulnerable?
At the 2002 American Psychiatric Association's annual meeting, Charles Nemeroff MD, PhD of Emory University asked his audience: "Is the biology of depression the biology of early trauma?"

In an experiment designed to startle lab rats by blowing an air puff in their faces, Dr Nemeroff and his colleagues found those who had been separated from their mothers as pups showed a greater stress response, with tissue samples revealing higher concentrations of the hormone CRF (corticotropin-releasing factor).

Women abused in childhood, Dr Nemeroff explained, end up with a sensitized brain system, where CRF receptors are to be found in abundance. Depressed patients have high concentrations of CRF in their cerebrospinal fluid.

A 2000 study that he co-authored with Christine Hein PhD found that women with a history of childhood abuse exhibited increased pituitary and autonomic responses to stress when given math tests and made to speak in public compared with the controls. This was especially true for the women with current depression and anxiety.

Stress Pathways

The stress response - fight or flight - kept our distant ancestors alert and alive long enough to pass on their genes, which certainly comes in handy in modern life, especially when a zeppelin is chasing you.

As Kurt Vonnegut describes it in his 1973 novel, "Breakfast of Champions":

My mind sent a message to my hypothalamus, told it to release the hormone CRF into the short vessels connecting my hypothalamus and my pituitary gland.
 

The CRF inspired my pituitary gland to dump the hormone ACTH into my bloodstream. My body had been making and storing ACTH for such an occasion. And nearer and nearer the zeppelin came.
 

And some of the ACTH in my bloodstream reached the outer shell of my adrenal gland, which had been making and storing glucocorticoids for such emergencies.
 

My adrenal gland added the glucocorticoids to my bloodstream. They went all over my body, changing glycogen into glucose. Glucose was a muscle food. It would help me fight like a wildcat or run like a deer.
 

And nearer and nearer the zeppelin came.
 

My adrenal gland gave me a shot of adrenaline, too. I turned purple as my blood pressure skyrocketed. The adrenaline made my heart go like a burglar alarm. It also stood my hair on end. It also caused coagulants to pour into my bloodstream, so, in case I was wounded, my vital juices wouldn't drain away.

Vonnegut is describing a neuro-endocrine loop known as the hypothalymus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis as it is supposed to act in dangerous situations. But what about when there are no zeppelins in sight, when we simply need to be on our toes? The abused and depressed women in the Heim-Nemeroff study exhibited a six-fold greater ACTH increase over the controls. In effect, these women - who only needed to be sufficiently alert to do math tests and speak in public - were being primed to flee attacking zeppelins.

Throw in an over-reactive amygdala and a picture begins to emerge of the human psyche on the breaking point. As Robert Sapolsky of Stanford describes it in a Sept 2003 article in Scientific American: "When we erroneously believe a stressor is about to happen we have entered the realm of neurosis, anxiety, and paranoia."

All those glucocorticoids Vonnegut was talking about don't simply evaporate. Stress has been linked to just about every physical illness imaginable, whether as a risk factor, a cause, or the triggering event.

In the brain, the neural synapses are flooded, setting the scene for excess glutamate to overstimulate brain cells, leading to neuronal loss and atrophy. In this sense, according to Husseini Manji MD, formerly of the NIMH, mood disorders may be regarded as fundamentally atrophic (ie stemming from brain cells in physical distress) rather than symptomatic.

Back to Freud, of All Things

Of all things, the Freudian-inspired DSM-I of 1952 and the DSM-II of 1968 - the ones that everyone ridicules as pre-modern and unscientific - may have gotten it right. Those early DSMs may have wrongly attributed serious mental illness to neurotic or psychotic-reactions, but they very correctly attributed the stresses of dealing with life as the driving force to these reactions.

The "modern" DSMs III and IV, with their exclusive focus on symptom check-lists, threw us off the scent.

Maybe stress can't account for everything going wrong with our brains, but it always needs to be the first place to look. Modern brain science, in effect, has simply relocated the stress dynamic from the metaphysical construct of the mind to the decidedly more prosaic meat housed inside our skulls.

But not just any old meat. We're talking highly specialized, intricately connected meat - live meat - as sensitive to present and past experience as photosensitive paper is to light. When our environment acts, our brain reacts.

But not blindly. Our stressful reactions are telling us something. That maybe, for instance, we need to get out of our denial and recognize that things at work or in our personal relationships are not okay. That maybe, while we have a chance, we have to change ourselves or change the situation around us. Because, if we don't, our depression or anxiety or mania is going to tell us the same thing, only in a much louder voice, with far fewer choices.

Our environment molds our brains, our brains mold our environment. Round and round it goes, a constant cycle of reaction and adjustment. We the vulnerable tend to have a harder time adapting and adopting, but this very insight also tends to be our best motivator.

Be hopeful, take the initiative, live well ...

Full stress article on mcmanweb

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Listening to Borderline

Following is a chopped-down version of part three of an expanded mcmanweb series of articles on borderline personality disorder ...

At first blush, borderline personality disorder appears very much like bipolar disorder, and the DSM symptom list does little to disabuse us of that notion. Thus (symptoms 4-7): impulsivity, recurrent suicidal behavior, affective instability, chronic feelings of emptiness.

John Gunderson of Harvard, in the July 2006 American Journal of Psychiatry, notes that misdiagnosing patients with bipolar, especially bipolar II, is the norm. Periods of depression and irritability are rarely instructive, he says. Neither are sustained periods of elation. What we are really looking for, he informs us, is evidence of a stress connection. Thus:

Repeated angry outbursts, suicide attempts, or acts of deliberate self-harm that are reactive to interpersonal stress and reflect extreme rejection sensitivity ...

In 1975, the legendary psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg of Columbia University theorized that "borderline personality organization" results from the child's inability to integrate positive and negative into a coherent whole. This leads to the incorporation of primitive defense mechanisms that carry on through adulthood. The best-known involves "splitting," in which people are perceived as either all good or all bad, nothing in between.

All-good or all-bad status has a way of changing like the weather in New England, only with far less predictability. Mother Teresa today, Whore of Babylon tomorrow. No in-between. In DSM-speak, we see "a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation."

Throw in DSM fear of abandonment, identity disturbance, inappropriate anger, and stress-induced paranoia, and a picture emerges of an extremely fragile individual negotiating a frightening and unpredictable world, at a loss how to respond. As Marsha Linehan of the University of Washington and founder of dialectical-behavioral therapy noted in 1993, "borderline patients are the psychological equivalent of a third-degree burn patient."

Those who live within the blast zone of someone with borderline, however, tend to view themselves as the ones with the third-degree burns. Typically, they describe themselves as constantly having to walk on eggshells. In my own experience, these highly challenging close encounters amount to being forced to dismantle a ticking bomb with seconds on the clock. Do we yank the blue wire or the green one?

Can we calm down an explosive situation or do we duck for cover?

In the closing of the movie "Girl Interrupted," based on Susanna Kaysen's book of the same name, we hear in the main character's voice-over: "Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified."

Think of Marilyn Monroe. Her larger-than-life personality combined with her personal insecurities has fed speculation that she may have been dealing with borderline. Likewise, a strong case can be made that she was living with bipolar. Either way, both diagnoses seem to fit. Certainly, Marilyn lit up the world.

But there is also the dark side of borderline to contend with, leaving victims dazed and shell-shocked and violated.

Books such as "Walking on Eggshells" by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger provide excellent pointers on how to protect yourself from borderline meltdowns. For those of us with mood disorders, self-protection is far more urgent. One encounter kickstarted my racing thoughts and messed up my sleep for days on end, putting me at grave risk of spinning into an episode. In another, after one poison pen email too many, the invisible floor that was holding up my emotions gave way, and my mood dropped like a rock. I spent one miserable month fighting off a bear of a depression.

In 2006, NAMI expanded its list of "priority populations" to include those with borderline personality disorder. As a result, their annual convention had on offer an ask the doctors session devoted to this illness, where I had a chance to listen to individuals speaking openly in an environment where they felt safe.

On the panel was a patient – we'll call her Anne – late 30s-early 40s, very smart, very articulate, very personable, with a degree in creative writing. Unfortunately, she told us, the best job she can get is answering phones, and she feels herself lucky. Her illness cannot take the demands of something more challenging, more stressful, that would place her in pressure cooker situations amongst people. When she loses it, she admits, you don't really want to be around her.

As opposed to walking on eggshells, Anne compared her dealings with people to "walking on shifting boards." The world is far from a safe place, she related, and the ground beneath her could collapse any second.

"It's like demons possess me," she on to say. Something inside of yourself so overwhelms you that you want to change it instantly. Such as slitting your wrists, impulsive sex, alcohol, and acting out. She described individuals with borderline as spontaneous and lively and loving until they get hurt. Then they screw up and fall apart. The irony, she said, is people with this disorder want to help so much, but the problem is they have trouble relating to people.

Anne emphasized that people with borderline can change (another speaker referred to the illness as "the good prognosis diagnosis"), and she concluded with reference to her favorite bumper sticker, "Don't believe everything you think."

***

I do not want wish to leave the impression that I am describing a THEM vs US situation. We all have personality issues we must deal with, and in my observations these often pose a greater problem in our recovery than our actual illness. Accordingly, I urge individuals to study the personality disorders as if each one applied to them.

Psychiatry and its allied disciplines will never figure out personality to everyone's satisfaction (the DSM-5 is working on it), and it would be a sad indictment on our uniqueness as individuals if they ever did. But you can employ these various diagnostic rough guides to connect your own dots, fill in your own blanks, and get to know yourself better.

Further reading from mcmanweb:

Is Borderline Personality Disorder Real?
Borderline Personality Disorder Gains Respect
Listening to Borderline Personality Disorder