Rerun: Oprah Totally Endorses Me - Well, Sort Of

Yesterday, I ran a piece highly critical of Oprah. But there was a time when we were good buddies, as this oldie from June, 2009 illustrates ...

My last blog was entitled, Oprah is an Unmitigated Idiot and a Menace to Society. Perhaps, I was being too harsh. After all, at the time I was as bitter as the Phantom of the Opera. A bit of background:

In Oct 2006, HarperCollins published my book, "Living Well with Depression and Bipolar Disorder: What Your Doctor Doesn't Tell You ... That You Need to Know." The book drew an unprecedented range of endorsements, including psychiatric experts (such as Frederick Goodwin MD, former head of the NIMH), advocates (such as Susan Bergeson, at the time President of DBSA), authors (such as Pete Early, who wrote "Crazy"), and alternative/complementary practitioners (such as Amy Weintraub, author of "Yoga for Depression").

But apparently, my book was not Oprah-worthy, and for more than two years I have been prowling the underground catacombs of Paris fantasizing my revenge. Then, suddenly, the other day, in the middle of a tenor solo, I had an epiphany, a realization, a sudden change of heart. Rather than crash a chandelier (or, alternatively, an overhead studio light) on Oprah's head, instead I would write a book that would do her proud, and today I'm pleased to announce the happy outcome:

"The Dihydrogen Oxide Cure: Nature's Boner-Popping Miracle Answer to Depression, Aging, Heart Disease, Obesity, Wrinkles, Memory Loss, Impotence, and Just About Everything, Totally."

Dihydrogen oxide is one hundred percent natural, and is found in all of nature. Dihydrogen oxide accounts for 70 percent of our body weight at birth, but as we age the percentage drops to around 60 percent. Without dihydrogen oxide, we would all die. Life on the planet would cease.

Yesterday, I finished taping my first Oprah show, and five more are in the works. My people and her people are negotiating a spin-off series. The first show should air any day now. Following is a partial transcript:

Oprah: "Today's show is entirely devoted to John McManamy, author of "The Dihydrogen Oxide Cure" (holding up book). I am absolutely blown away by this guy. Ladies and gentlemen, if women could pop boners I'd be popping one right now."

John McManamy: "Thank you, Oprah. That's a real nice outfit you have on, by the way."

Oprah: "You like it? But you know what? I used to look like a frump in this exact same get-up until I tried your Dihydrogen Oxide Cure. Suddenly, I started drinking about seven or eight glasses a day like you recommended, and, I mean my life has totally - totally - absolutely, totally absolutely, turned around. John, can you explain how dihydrogen oxide works? Oh, and do you have an easier-to-pronounce name for it?"

John McManamy: "Well, Oprah, since I see dihydrogen oxide as nature's miracle answer, I like to call it "Namirans," which by the way is the name of my dihydrogen oxide cure product, available in all health food stores.

Oprah: (Holding up bottle.) "'McMan's Namirans', to be more precise. One hundred percent natural. Just four dollars a bottle. And you can also order it online by going to John's website at mcmanweb.com."

John McManamy: "Anyway, Oprah, did you know that Namirans forms the basis of just about all of our medicines, both pharmaceutical and alternative?"

Oprah: "You mean even naturopathic?"

John McManamy: "Exactly. It's the major ingredient in everything we take to get us better. Not only that, it's the major ingredient in everything we eat and drink. So I was thinking - if this is the one ingredient common to everything, literally everything, why mess around with all the other stuff, such as additives that can be bad for you. Suppose, just suppose, we could isolate this compound? Then people could enjoy the one hundred percent Namirans experience."

Oprah: "This is amazing. How come we've never heard of it, before?"

John McManamy: "Well, Oprah, as you know doctors would be out of jobs if everyone were healthy. And because the stuff is one hundred percent natural, the drug companies don't have a patent on it."

Oprah: "Okay, John, before you go on, the entire medical profession is calling you a fraud. I have three Nobel Prize winners in the audience ready to totally rebut your claims. What do you have to say to them?"

John McManamy: "Well, Oprah, I know that Namirans sounds too good to be true, but the fact remains that we could not live one minute without it ..."

Oprah: "Say no more, John. And when it comes time to call upon these quacks, namely ten seconds before we're due to break into a commercial, I'll be sure to treat them with a total lack of respect."

John McManamy: "As you so totally should, Oprah. I mean, after all, you're Oprah. By the way, those are totally bomb ass earrings you're wearing."

Oprah: "Why, thank you, John. And you're quite the bomb yourself. Now, John, this is going to sound weird, but the other night I took a bath in your product. It's hard to describe, it was like a ... cleansing ... experience."

John McManamy: "There's no end of uses to Namirans, Oprah. You should see the fan mail I'm getting from people all over the world. A lady in New Zealand is using it to grow her plants - really, I'm not making this up. Someone in Massachusetts is actually cleaning his car with it. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Speaking of icebergs, did you know that Namirans is the main ingredient in icebergs, both Arctic and Antarctic?

Oprah: "Get ... out ... of ... here! I have to hear more about this! But first commercials. Next up. Elizabeth Taylor and her miracle Namirans story, and how Angelina Jolie is using Namirans to promote world peace. John, we have twenty seconds before we cut into commercials. Tell us real quick about your other product."

John McManamy: "Oh, you must mean my special avocado crotch rub ... "

Oprah: "You mean you rub it into your crotch?"

John McManamy: "No, Oprah, you have someone else rub it into your crotch."

Oprah: (In total admiration.) "John, you are a true boner-popper. Perhaps you can demonstrate it on me after the show. Ladies and gentlemen, the great, totally mind-blowing, John McManamy!"

***

Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And don't forget to order McMan's Water, I mean, uh, McMan's Namirans - nature's miracle dihydrogen oxide cure - today.

Oprah Is At It - Again

Katherine Stone authors an outstanding blog on postpartum disorders, Postpartum Progress. In a December blog piece on my mental health heroes, I cited her as my "Internet Hero" of the year.

Today, Katherine features a contribution from Alexis Lesa. In response to an open request from the Oprah show, Alexis went to the site and entered in a brief account of her experience with postpartum depression. To the surprise of Alexis, the next day she received a follow-up email requesting more information. One of the follow-up questions included:

After your child's birth...are you feel empty and sad instead of elated and excited?

And another:

Are you scared you were going to hurt your child or yourself?

(The badly mangled grammar is theirs.)

As Alexis writes:

I know that the questions were most likely meant to get a broad sense of what PPD is like and I should probably just let it go, but I can’t help myself. ... It seems that people are intent on pigeonholing PPD as a crazy-making disease, one that turns women into baby haters, baby killers.

She adds:

Why is it that the first thing that comes to people’s minds when they hear PPD is “This woman probably doesn’t love her child,” or “This woman is probably going to hurt her child.”? It’s as though all the literature about the range of PPD symptoms simply doesn’t exist--in the eyes of the world, all PPD moms are a danger to themselves or their children. It’s no wonder many women fear speaking out.

Ah, deja vu all over again.

Three years ago, Julie, a producer from Oprah, contacted me. They were interested in doing a show on bipolar. Julie saw my website and wanted to talk. Who doesn't have time to talk to someone from Oprah?

Soon into our phone conversation a day or two later, it became obvious why Julie was calling. She wanted to know about my mad scene. My mad scene of 20 years ago is fairly boring as far as mad scenes go. (I had merely quit my job in a huff.) A total disaster from my point of view, but hardly a newsworthy one. Depression is the real bane of my life, and Julie didn't want to hear about that.

"Did Bipolar Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?" read the home page of Oprah's website, about a month later. "Tune in Monday."

The show started out with a 911 call: The mother, Andrea, had just confessed to choking her six year-old son. It turned out her idiot family doctor had been giving her antidepressants. In prison (she is serving a 42-year term), a doctor made the right diagnosis, put her on a mood stabilizer, and now she is doing fine, all things considered.

The entire first segment of the show was devoted to Andrea, while nearly all the second featured Andrea's friends. Then Kay Jamison came on. Two minutes. Kay Jamison, two minutes.

Then came "General Hospital" star Maurice Bernard, talking for 10 minutes about his "blow-out" that turned out to be an anxiety attack. The last segment featured actress Jennifer Lewis who turned out to be smart and personable. Then a hurried one-minute wrap-up with Kay Jamison. End of show.

Three years later: Postpartum depression is about to get the Oprah treatment. Many thanks, Katherine, for tipping me off. My suggestion, Katherine: Time to suit up as an internet hero. Maybe Oprah is way too powerful for the likes of us, but we don't have to take this lying down, either.

Time to make some noise ...

Age Seven with Schizophrenia

Several months ago, in reference to a sensationalist TV segment that portrayed bipolars as killers and for other crimes and misdemeanors, I referred to Oprah as “an unmitigated idiot and a menace to society.” I take it back.

Yesterday, Oprah aired, “The 7-Year-Old Schizophrenic.” I didn’t see the actual episode, but her website contained four short videos, plus two articles, that sympathetically and with great sensitivity portrayed seven-year-old Jani Schofield and her parents, Michael and Susan.

Back in July, in the wake of an LA Times piece, I ran an equally sympathetic piece on Jani and her family, noting:

Jani has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, which usually breaks out in late teenhood-early adulthood, nearly always preceded by years of strange and erratic (and often brilliant) behaviors. From the very beginning, Jani hardly needed to sleep. At age 3, the tantrums began. At age 4, her IQ was tested at 146 (genius level). At age 5, her rages became violent. In his blog, Michael admits to both he and his wife Susan striking back, as well as taking away her toys and even "starving" her. The antipsychiatry community, ignoring everything else, jumped all over this as the true cause of Jani's condition.

Meanwhile, Jani's one or two invisible friends expanded into a psychotic community, along with hallucinations and delusions. Attempts at kindergarten and first grade failed. Last fall Jani tried to jump off a second story balcony. Autism? Bipolar? Doctors had no answers. Earlier this year, a medical team at UCLA issued their verdict - schizophrenia.

In the Oprah videos, Jani and her parents tell their own stories. We see a highly personable Jani describing her hundreds of imaginary friends and their make-believe world (real to her) called Calalini. She articulates her uncontrollable rages and racing thoughts and tendencies to violence, as well as the Clozaril and lithium she is on.

We see Michael and Susan talk about having to raise two children in two separate apartments, both for their own safety and to give one parent a break. We hear how the services Jani needs are unavailable. According to the main article:

At night, Michael and Susan find peace, knowing Jani survived one more day. Michael says this is his favorite time. "[I think]: 'We've kept her alive. We have now about 10 hours of rest until we've got to do it all again,'" he says. "And we will probably have to do it all again for the rest of our lives."

In my original blog piece, I concluded:

On Sunday, Michael posted, Hopefully, This Will Be Jani One Day, with a link to the biography of Elyn Saks. Elyn Saks is the author of the highly-acclaimed "The Center Cannot Hold," which documents her struggles with schizophrenia and her road to conditional recovery. Elyn Saks holds a masters in philosophy from Oxford, is a professor of law at USC, and is on the verge of attaining a qualification in psychoanalysis.


Says Michael: "Saks’s story gives me hope that one day Jani will be able to tell her own story."

Check out Michael's extremely candid and moving blog, January First.

Oprah Absolutely Totally Endorses Me - Well, Sort Of

My last blog was entitled, Oprah is an Unmitigated Idiot and a Menace to Society. Perhaps, I was being too harsh. After all, at the time I was as bitter as the Phantom of the Opera. A bit of background:

In Oct 2006, HarperCollins published my book, "Living Well with Depression and Bipolar Disorder: What Your Doctor Doesn't Tell You ... That You Need to Know." The book drew an unprecedented range of endorsements, including psychiatric experts (such as Frederick Goodwin MD, former head of the NIMH), advocates (such as Susan Bergeson, at the time President of DBSA), authors (such as Pete Early, who wrote "Crazy"), and alternative/complementary practitioners (such as Amy Weintraub, author of "Yoga for Depression").

But apparently, my book was not Oprah-worthy, and for more than two years I have been prowling the underground catacombs of Paris fantasizing my revenge. Then, suddenly, the other day, in the middle of a tenor solo, I had an epiphany, a realization, a sudden change of heart. Rather than crash a chandelier (or, alternatively, an overhead studio light) on Oprah's head, instead I would write a book that would do her proud, and today I'm pleased to announce the happy outcome:

"The Dihydrogen Oxide Cure: Nature's Boner-Popping Miracle Answer to Depression, Aging, Heart Disease, Obesity, Wrinkles, Memory Loss, Impotence, and Just About Everything, Totally."

Dihydrogen oxide is one hundred percent natural, and is found in all of nature. Dihydrogen oxide accounts for 70 percent of our body weight at birth, but as we age the percentage drops to around 60 percent. Without dihydrogen oxide, we would all die. Life on the planet would cease.

Yesterday, I finished taping my first Oprah show, and five more are in the works. My people and her people are negotiating a spin-off series. The first show should air any day now. Following is a partial transcript:

Oprah: "Today's show is entirely devoted to John McManamy, author of "The Dihydrogen Oxide Cure" (holding up book). I am absolutely blown away by this guy. Ladies and gentlemen, if women could pop boners I'd be popping one right now."

John McManamy: "Thank you, Oprah. That's a real nice outfit you have on, by the way."

Oprah: "You like it? But you know what? I used to look like a frump in this exact same get-up until I tried your Dihydrogen Oxide Cure. Suddenly, I started drinking about seven or eight glasses a day like you recommended, and, I mean my life has totally - totally - absolutely, totally absolutely, turned around. John, can you explain how dihydrogen oxide works? Oh, and do you have an easier-to-pronounce name for it?"

John McManamy: "Well, Oprah, since I see dihydrogen oxide as nature's miracle answer, I like to call it "Namirans," which by the way is the name of my dihydrogen oxide cure product, available in all health food stores.

Oprah: (Holding up bottle.) "'McMan's Namirans', to be more precise. One hundred percent natural. Just four dollars a bottle. And you can also order it online by going to John's website at mcmanweb.com."

John McManamy: "Anyway, Oprah, did you know that Namirans forms the basis of just about all of our medicines, both pharmaceutical and alternative?"

Oprah: "You mean even naturopathic?"

John McManamy: "Exactly. It's the major ingredient in everything we take to get us better. Not only that, it's the major ingredient in everything we eat and drink. So I was thinking - if this is the one ingredient common to everything, literally everything, why mess around with all the other stuff, such as additives that can be bad for you. Suppose, just suppose, we could isolate this compound? Then people could enjoy the one hundred percent Namirans experience."

Oprah: "This is amazing. How come we've never heard of it, before?"

John McManamy: "Well, Oprah, as you know doctors would be out of jobs if everyone were healthy. And because the stuff is one hundred percent natural, the drug companies don't have a patent on it."

Oprah: "Okay, John, before you go on, the entire medical profession is calling you a fraud. I have three Nobel Prize winners in the audience ready to totally rebut your claims. What do you have to say to them?"

John McManamy: "Well, Oprah, I know that Namirans sounds too good to be true, but the fact remains that we could not live one minute without it ..."

Oprah: "Say no more, John. And when it comes time to call upon these quacks, namely ten seconds before we're due to break into a commercial, I'll be sure to treat them with a total lack of respect."

John McManamy: "As you so totally should, Oprah. I mean, after all, you're Oprah. By the way, those are totally bomb ass earrings you're wearing."

Oprah: "Why, thank you, John. And you're quite the bomb yourself. Now, John, this is going to sound weird, but the other night I took a bath in your product. It's hard to describe, it was like a ... cleansing ... experience."

John McManamy: "There's no end of uses to Namirans, Oprah. You should see the fan mail I'm getting from people all over the world. A lady in New Zealand is using it to grow her plants - really, I'm not making this up. Someone in Massachusetts is actually cleaning his car with it. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Speaking of icebergs, did you know that Namirans is the main ingredient in icebergs, both Arctic and Antarctic?

Oprah: "Get ... out ... of ... here! I have to hear more about this! But first commercials. Next up. Elizabeth Taylor and her miracle Namirans story, and how Angelina Jolie is using Namirans to promote world peace. John, we have twenty seconds before we cut into commercials. Tell us real quick about your other product."

John McManamy: "Oh, you must mean my special avocado crotch rub ... "

Oprah: "You mean you rub it into your crotch?"

John McManamy: "No, Oprah, you have someone else rub it into your crotch."

Oprah: (In total admiration.) "John, you are a true boner-popper. Perhaps you can demonstrate it on me after the show. Ladies and gentlemen, the great, totally mind-blowing, John McManamy!"

***

Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And don't forget to order McMan's Water, I mean, uh, McMan's Namirans - nature's miracle dihydrogen oxide cure - today.

Oprah is an Unmitigated Idiot and a Menace to Society

"Crazy Talk," reads the cover of this week's Newsweek. "Oprah, Wacky Cures, and You."

Finally, someone willing to take on the cult of Oprah. The article, by Weston Kosova and Pat Wingert, opens:

"In January, Oprah Winfrey invited Suzanne Somers on her show to share her unusual secrets to staying young. Each morning, the 62-year-old actress and self-help author rubs a potent estrogen cream into the skin on her arm. ..."

Then progesterone on her other arm (two weeks a month) and a daily syringe estrogen injection into her vagina, plus 60 daily vitamins and other preparations. According to Newsweek:

"The idea is to use these unregulated 'bio-identical' hormones to restore her levels back to what they were when she was in her 30s, thus fooling her body into thinking she's a younger woman."

In case you're looking for a medical opinion:

"Several times during the show [Oprah] gave physicians an opportunity to dispute what Somers was saying. But it wasn't quite a fair fight. The doctors who raised these concerns were seated down in the audience and had to wait to be called on. Somers sat onstage next to Oprah, who defended her from attack."

Two years ago, I came to the conclusion that Oprah was an unmitigated idiot and a menace to society. "Did Bipolar Drive a Mother to Kill Her Child?" ran a website promo back in August 2007 for an upcoming show. "Tune in Monday."

The show started out with a 911 call: Mother Andrea had just confessed to killing her child. In an interview from jail, Andrea was treated to a whole segment, then nearly a whole studio segment was devoted to her friends gossiping about Andrea.

Then Oprah went to the audience where Kay Jamison PhD was seated. In case you're wondering how Oprah finessed this unlikely transition, she didn't. She bluntly introduced Dr Jamison as the leading bipolar expert in the world, as if she herself were the expert at deciding who the experts were. Then she asserted in the form of a question that bipolar was the new term for manic-depression.

You could see the slight hesitation in Dr Jamison. The second edition to her definitive "Manic-Depressive Illness" (with Frederick Goodwin MD) had just come out three or four months before. The subtitle reads: "Bipolar Disorders and Recurrent Depression."

The book goes to elaborate lengths to inform physicians that a good deal of so-called unipolar depression is also part of the manic-depressive phenomenon, with enormous treatment implications.

But Dr Jamison was smart enough not to dispute Oprah. She allowed the misconception to stand. By the time Oprah asked her first substantive question, just about all the time had ticked off the clock. Oprah broke into a commercial, and Dr Jamison was forgotten.

Then came two segments devoted to two C list TV celebs, and one final drive-by wrap-up with Dr Jamison from her seat in the audience.

So that was the world of bipolar according to Oprah. As for my part in the production:

Earlier, a producer from the show had called me, and I was very happy to brief her. But soon it became obvious that all she wanted to know from me was my mad scene. Nearly all of us diagnosed with bipolar I can rattle off juicy mad scenes, but I happen to lead a spectacularly boring life and my mad scene was pathetically lame.

Still, there was enough in my life (and the lives of the rest of us with bipolar) to educate and inspire viewers.

How was I to know Oprah was really looking for a baby-killer?

What the show drove home loud and clear was the power of Oprah. Kay Jamison may or may not be the leading authority on bipolar disorder, but she is certainly by far the best known and the most in demand. Yet Oprah could literally summon Dr Jamison from her crowded schedule in Baltimore to play the role of spear carrier in her sham production.

Not only that, Oprah could get away with not according Dr Jamison the time and respect - much less a place on stage - she gave to her non-expert guests.

As to how Oprah can get away with this: My own book had come out some 10 months earlier. Trust me, I'm only slightly exaggerating when I say that I would have skipped my daughter's wedding for 10 seconds on Oprah.

I detailed a lot of this in a blog I did for HealthCentral's BipolarConnect, and looking back I wish I had been far more disapproving. In a later blog that was critical of the way "60 Minutes" covered the tragic death of Rebecca Riley, I did say that Katie Couric was as dumb as Oprah, and I feel good about that.

The Newsweek story devotes six pages to how Oprah gets away with highlighting non-expert guests who promote various quack cures and too-good-to-be-true beauty treatments, not to mention vaccination fear-mongers, while keeping expert dissenters in their place. Unfortunately, the Oprah phenomenon is growing, if such a thing is possible - her own new cable channel is in the offing, which will include Oprah-approved programming on health and living well.

But in the end, the joke may be on Oprah. As the article notes, Oprah became enthralled to some old positive thinking repackaged as "The Secret," to which she devoted three shows. Amongst other things, The Secret advises that "you cannot 'catch' anything unless you think you can." But here she was, reported Newsweek, in the months that followed, "worrying over her thyroid, ingesting bioidentical hormones and putting on pounds."

Concluded Newsweek:

"What if Oprah had managed to solve all of her problems, to end her search for meaning and fulfillment and spiritual calm and a flatter, firmer stomach by summoning the very power of the universe itself? It might have been hard for her to take Suzanne Somers seriously after that."