Willa Goodfellow's Prozac Monologues: Still Going Strong

I’ve been telling people for years that my beat covers everything from God to neurons. A month or two ago, I incorporated “From God to Neurons” into the subtitle of Knowledge is Necessity. In mid-2009, I had the pleasure of discovering online the other person on the planet blogging from God to neurons, Willa Goodfellow (pictured here).

Willa was only a few months into her vastly wise and funny and totally unique Prozac Monologues. My hypomanic delight over my find was muted by my ever-faithful depressive realism. As I put it in a review at the time:

"Promising bloggers have an unfortunate tendency to burn out, so I urge all of you to drop a comment on her blog site offering encouragement. To Willa: It's very easy for bloggers to get discouraged, particularly when dealing with depression. But clearly we need you. Stick with it."

Willa stuck with it, and we established a great online friendship. Last summer, I had the pleasure of meeting her face-to-face at the NAMI national convention in Chicago. Think of below as a Willa sampler from the past several months. Enjoy, then check her out for real ...

Yes, we ARE getting sicker.  We live in times that make us sick.  We struggle to pay bills while our bosses speed up the assembly line.  Those of us who don't get laid off can't quit, because we can't afford health insurance.  Our support systems, extended family, neighborhoods, religious communities, social organizations - the buffers of stress - have been ripped away, replaced by reality TV and Facebook hysteria.

***

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Live a good and honorable life.  Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

***

... This is why, if your antidepressant works for you, you are just plain lucky.  It happens to treat the problem in your particular brain.  Most of the time, it treats somebody else's problem.

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While God was blessing Tim Tebow's hard work on Sunday afternoon, 720 children around the world died of hunger.  270 people committed suicide.  Two of them, by the way, were veterans of the United States Armed Forces.

That was before overtime.  Good thing overtime was short, huh?

So on Monday morning, nearly 1000 mothers were asking, If God could help Tim complete that pass, couldn't he have paid some attention to my child?  Billions still listen for their answer.

***

For the Israelites, the Babylonian Exile resulted in an explosion of creativity, poetry, philosophy, history, new forms of worship, the legal code, and the development of a religion that was larger than their prior notions of land=success=God's favor.  They came up with a religion that could handle exile, handle loss.  It could travel and face the future.

Their brains found new patterns. ...

***

I'm into changing my brain.  In that mass of electrical wiring, some potentially healthy pathways are blocked by the detritus of dead dendrites.  Other destructive pathways are carved into canyons of well-worn automatic responses.

Changing my brain will take time.  It is taking decades.  It will take at least another blogpost.

***

From the Damned-If-You-Do-And-Damned-If-You-Don't Department, the medications for schizophrenia and bipolar mostly reduce the positive symptoms (delusions in the case of schizophrenia, high energy in bipolar - the symptoms that scare your families and your care providers who write the prescriptions).  They tend to increase the negative symptoms (thereby relieving the anxieties of your families and your care providers who write the prescriptions), providing that synergistic effect that nails you to the sofa.

***

Evidently inspired by Fox News, Merry Christmas is no longer an expression of joy and good cheer, but a battle cry against the First Amendment and the great American experiment of freedom and tolerance of difference.

***

Inevitably, certain symptoms get more attention than others.  Psychiatrists are not concerned when patients sleep too much, do an astounding amount of work in three days or die twenty-five years before our natural lifespan due to complications of obesity, as long as we don't have hallucinations or delusions or try to end our misery by self-harm.

It's all about the descriptors, and how nervous they make people. ...

It's like, the DSM tells you what color the car is and how many cup holders it has.  Big Pharma has made a lot of money tinkering with the placement of the cup holders.  Meanwhile, what patients want to know and what scientists actually are working on nowadays is, what's under the hood?

***

Mahatma Gandhi was not the first freedom fighter.  But he is the great theoretician.  He gave us the map.

First they ignore you.
Then they laugh at you.
Then they fight you.
Then you win.

Four simple steps.  The good news -- we have already taken the first.  Got that one down pat.

Go to Prozac Monologues ...

The Hypomania Dilemma

I love reading Willa Goodfellow's blog, Prozac Monologues. Willa (pictured here) is smart, insightful, and like all good writers she poses questions rather than serving up easy answers. Case in point:

Willa's wife Helen was invited to a function at the home of Sally Mason, president of the University of Iowa. Willa got to tag along. As she explains it:

Helen likes to show me off, because I am good at parties, can talk with anybody, good social skills. And I am cute.

So far, so good.

Anticipating wine at the function, she decided to skip her afternoon Valium. Besides, she wanted to be mentally sharp. Later into the function, the host engaged Helen and Willa in a conversation. They were standing in front of a bookcase populated with books by Iowa Writers Workshop authors. The workshop is the pride and joy of the university.

In Willa's words, "That is when the evil twin appeared." Pointing to a Pulitzer book, "Gilead" by Marilynne Robinson, the evil twin let loose: "Boring. Boring, boring, boring."

Gracious host that she was, Dr Mason acknowledged it was a difficult book to read. Willa says she could have redeemed herself by offering that it was difficult for her, as well. After all, the book was about depressed small town Iowa clergy, and - guess what? - Willa had been one herself. All manner of fascinating conversation could have flowed.

But, no. Willa pointed to another book. As she reports: "This time I said, 'I hate this book ...'" Dr Mason moved on to other guests.

Willa observes that her psychiatrist would have a ready solution to her unwanted hypomania, namely to go on the meds she had been refusing. But there is a catch, as Willa relates:

Those meds would give me a flat affect, facial tics and forty pounds. Helen would have no reason to let me out of the house at all. I would no longer even be cute.

Willa cites a 2003 study by Pope and Scott that pointed to a clear discordance between psychiatrists and patients. The psychiatrists in the study thought that bipolars went off their meds because we "miss our highs." The patients who quit cited other reasons. In 2006, I heard Dr Scott talk about her study at the International Society of Bipolar Disorder conference in Edinburgh. When I included it as a PowerPoint slide in a grand rounds I gave two years later to clinicians at a hospital in Princeton, NJ I was greeted with stony cold frozen Kelvin grade silence.

It didn't help when the next thing out of my mouth was: "Get over it. When your patients complain to you about feeling like fat stupid zombie eunuchs on the meds you prescribe - and on the meds you overprescribe - they are not doing this to ruin your day."

In an ideal world, we could all be our smart, funny, insightful, and engaging selves without having to worry about causing a social embarrassment. Operating with a clear head is our most valuable asset, but there are risks, illness or no illness. I could opt for faux pas-free life, but at what cost? An existence devoid of laughter?

Psychiatrists tell us we need to stay on our meds, and for many of us that is very good advice. But that is the easy answer. Willa poses questions ...

The Draft DSM-5 - Another Blogger Speaks Out

I'll be quick: Blogger comrade-in-arms Willa Goodfellow (pictured here) of Prozac Monologues has written a terrific critique of the Draft DSM-5. Sample:

Particularly disturbing is the failure to include new knowledge about Bipolar II.  The proposed revisions do not even keep pace with practice among psychiatrists who do listen to their patients' experience.  The evidence for a link between antidepressants and suicide is most compelling for those who are diagnosed with Bipolar II or those who could be diagnosed with Bipolar II, if the criteria shifted to include them.  The continued narrow definition leads to inappropriate treatment with antidepressants (translation: more sales of antidepressants), and deterioration, including a tripled risk of suicide. 

Say no more. Check it out ...